How to Tell an Internet Date You are Not Interested
Internet dating is big business. The industry is growing each year, as individuals hope that the secret matching algorithms of Internet dating sites will help them find love. According to internet data provider comScore, more than 20 million people visit online dating sites each month.
Before finding anyone you truly connect with, however, the odds are that you will end up dating people that simply don’t interest you. In the end, you will have to inform these individuals that you do not believe a relationship between you is possible, and this can be a challenge.
7 Steps to Tell an Internet Date You are Not Interested
1. Wait for your date to contact you first.
If the individual never calls or contacts you to ask for a second date, you can assume that he is not interested in you either. This will spare you from having to be the bearer of bad news.
2. Ignore his calls.
If you simply cannot bring yourself tell him that a second date is not going to happen, you can send the message by pulling a vanishing act. Ignoring telephone calls, emails, and other attempts your Internet date makes to contact you will send the message fairly quickly that there was no connection on your end and you are not interested in pursuing a relationship.
3. Consider bringing the subject up politely in an email.
You can point out that you had a good time but it seemed like the chemistry just was not there between the two of you. Rather than forcing your date to feel the sting of rejection, take the rejection onto yourself by including a phrase such as “I know you feel the same way,” or “I could tell you did not seem interested either.”
4. Offer to introduce your Internet date to one of your single friends, if you think they might hit it off.
This will send a message loud and clear that you have no intention of pursuing a relationship.
5. Broach the subject immediately if you opt for the up-front approach.
Giving your date the opportunity to tell you how much fun he had and how much he likes you will only leave him embarrassed and make you feel worse.
6. Be honest about your reasons for not wanting to pursue the connection.
Your date may want to know just what it was about him that was unappealing to you. Making up excuses may seem like an easy way out, but most individuals can see through a transparent lie.
He will have more respect for the truth and, if the reason is something he can control, knowing the truth now may stop him from making similar mistakes in the future.
7. Avoid the urge to get defensive and be dragged into an argument.
Telling someone that you are not interested in going out again is a form of rejection. Although no one likes rejection, some take it worse than others. If your date strikes out at you, politely terminate the conversation.