How to Get Self Confidence
Self confidence can be difficult for those who are naturally shy, nervous or unsure of themselves. Fear of failure often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, making it harder to feel assertive or optimistic in similar circumstances. But there’s nothing keeping even terribly shy people from improving self confidence on their own.
Like anything else, it takes practice: testing a few techniques in low-stress circumstances, then building on them as you move forward. If you keep at it, you’ll find your self confidence markedly improving.
6 Steps to Get Self Confidence
1. Accept yourself for who you are.
There’s nothing wrong with being naturally shy, sensitive or nervous, and improving self confidence doesn’t mean rejecting or denying those parts of yourself. Strive to know yourself, understand yourself and embrace yourself for who you are.
Accepting all of your traits unconditionally improves your outlook by default, and allows you to present yourself with greater confidence.
2. Notice whether other people around you support you and treat you positively.
Those who don’t believe in you or who treat you negatively don’t deserve to be a part of your life. Don’t let anyone put you down, and don’t allow yourself to feel bad because of what other people say. Chances are, they know a lot less than they think they do… and probably know next to nothing about who you are. If they choose to judge you, that’s fine. It’s their loss.
Conversely, people who respect you and seem encouraged by your presence can remind you of things you already know, and help bolster your efforts to improve your self-confidence. Keep people like that around you.
3. Be at peace with being alone.
We’re socially conditioned to require companionship at all times and to feel like there’s something wrong with us when we’re not surrounded by people. Reject that notion. The ability to be alone reflects independence and self-sufficiency. Learn to value that time to yourself and use it to learn new things about who you are.
4. Practice doing things that scare you, even just a little bit.
Try something you’ve never done before. Eat dinner in a restaurant by yourself. Strike up a conversation with a stranger in the coffee shop, or take up a hobby that you never would consider otherwise. If you face your fears and come out intact on the other side, their power to frighten you will diminish.
5. Assert yourself in meetings and when spending time with friends.
Don’t be afraid to express your opinion, to speak with pride about recent accomplishments or to show off a new dress or piece of clothing. The more you’re able to do that–and the more you see that the world won’t end if you do–the more self-confident you’ll feel.
6. Write a list of things you want to achieve in your life, and think about the steps it will take to get there.
Resolve to pursue one step of one goal each day, seeing how far you can take it. Don’t be discouraged by obstacles–instead, think of ways to get around them–and don’t allow failure to stop you from taking a new step the next day.
Demonstrate resolve and keep pushing to achieve the things you want. You’ll be surprised how far you can go.
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