How to Discuss an Unplanned Pregnancy With Spouse
When you weren’t planning on having a baby, it can be a shocker to see that line appear on a pregnancy test. But before you panic, remember that it takes two to tango and two to make decisions going forward.
Talk to your spouse about your next steps. An unplanned pregnancy can help bring you closer together as you work as a team and decide how to deal.
5 Steps to Discuss an Unplanned Pregnancy With Spouse
1. Stay calm when you find out about your pregnancy.
You have an array of options, and you don’t have to deal with the emotions and the choices on your own.
You may wonder how you became pregnant, but keep in mind that no method of birth control is 100 percent effective in preventing pregnancy. Try to avoid placing blame on yourself or your spouse.
2. Explore your own feelings about your pregnancy before you talk to your spouse.
Expect to feel a range of emotions. “It doesn’t make you a bad mother to have conflicted feelings,” psychologist Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D., tells “Fit Pregnancy.”
You may feel excited, scared, upset, angry, elated and any number of other emotions. Take time to process the idea that you’re pregnant and how you feel about your options before you tell your spouse.
3. Talk to your spouse when you’re both feeling calm.
Talking about it after he’s had a stressful day at work could color his response. Instead, find a good time to tell him clearly what has happened — that you’re pregnant and if possible, how many weeks you are. You can also let him know how you feel about the unplanned pregnancy — maybe you’re shocked, but a little excited, or maybe you’re disappointed and scared.
4. Help your spouse express his feelings about the unplanned pregnancy by asking how he feels about it and what he thinks you should do as a couple.
You can discuss your options, such as seeing the pregnancy through, choosing abortion or possibly putting the baby up for adoption. It’s important that you weigh pros and cons as a couple and select an option on which you both agree, notes Columbia University Health Services.
5. Make an appointment with an OB/GYN to ensure that your pregnancy is going well, suggests the Office on Women’s Health.
Whatever you decide to do, it’s important to stay healthy throughout the process. Your OB can tell you how far along you are and can help you and your spouse discuss options as you come to terms with your unplanned pregnancy.
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